Showing posts with label moving on. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moving on. Show all posts

Thursday, January 1, 2009

New Years Resolutions


New Year’s Resolutions…
only the achievable!
But, I will still be kickin and screamin about some of them!
"NOOOO! You can't make me!"
But I will succeed!

1. Change my name
2. Get a passport
3. Travel out of the country
4. Get out of DEBT
5. Stop SHOPPING
6. Exercise 3X a week
7. Eat Better
8. Yell less
9. Find a hobby I love
10. Have More Sex than last year
11. Keep Track of O’s. With and Without.
12. Do Something, Do Something, Do Something!

Travel Log '08




Here it is, the obligatory, "what I accomplished this year" blog.
Not sure what I accomplished other than being a great Mom and traveling tons! This was a red letter year! I have had the best year of my life. There was NO conflict, NO struggle and life was good. Hell, life was great! I know, you wanna gag! You may hate me after this and think I spend no time with my kids, but you would be wrong! I am certain I have left out lots of little trips. I generally take the kids someplace at least once a month, so I know I have forgotten lots of those. I think me forgetting those trips keeps me sane!

Places I went in 2008

9 flights
2 helicopter rides


January

Orlando, FL
Trip with the kids to Disney and Universal. Me and 4 kids at the Nick Hotel. GEEZ I must have lost my mind… but we had a blast!

Wisconsin Dells, WI
Business trip for him, great outlet shopping for me.

February

Indianapolis, IN
Business trip for him. Lots of wining, dining and shopping.

Omaha, Ne
Business trip for him. I shopped at the shootem up mall, there was no shooting.


March

St. Louis, Mo
Took the kids by train to go to the City Museum, Union Station and stayed at a hotel. Kids met Leon Spinx and saw Don King. They have no idea, but someday will remember that it was a cool moment!

West Palm Beach, FL
Cardinal’s spring training. Relaxing, awesome, fell in love with the ocean. Met Tony Larusso, and some players. Saw Air Force One at the Airport, and got pictures of it on the runway as we were taking off for….

Las Vegas, NV
My first adult trip to Vegas. There was a helicopter ride over the strip. There was a topless show and we saw Elton John in concert, second row, pulled up on stage, we danced with Sir Elton and his Red Piano.

St. Louis, MO (Cards opening Day!)
It got rained out, we went to the Big Bang and proceeded to harass the pianists. We got really drunk. Met Zack from the Big Bang in Nashville. Promised that we would come there in May.


April

Houston, TX
We were there for business for him. We quit smoking before we got on the flight, together and have not had a slip up since!

Galveston, TX
We drove down from Houston. It was beautiful. We got our palms read, which really wasn’t as cool as we thought.

St. Louis, MO
I am sure we went for a ball game…


May

Nashville, TN
This was the best birthday EVER! We flew to Nashville, stayed at the historic Union Station, went to the Grand Ole Opry, bought amazing cowboy boots and a hat, wandered around the streets in a happy, drunken haze and met our friend Zack at the Big Bang. I spent my birthday with my best friend, lover and partner and we had fun!

Orlando, FL
We were there on business for him, but it was fun! I shopped, I drank and then we switched from all business hotel to the Hard Rock Hotel…woohoo! We went to Universal as adults, and it was way more fun than with kids! Loved the pool with a sandy beach! We had lots of bonding time, me and my sweetie!

St. Louis, MO
Sure we went to a ball game and I took the kids to the Zoo!

June

St. Louis, MO
I tagged along and hid out while he had a guy’s weekend. I bet he had more fun than any of the other guys! I hung out in the spa, made a new friend, shopped and then went back to wait for my sweetie. They all left and we spent another 2 days just hanging out!


July

St. Louis, MO
We celebrated our 2 year anniversary. There was beautiful jewelry, fabulous dinner, great time spent together! We still haven’t had a fight!
I also took the kids to the Science Center!

Indianapolis, IN
Sweetie and I went to time trials for the Brickyard! We took the convertible, got burnt, snuck into the Red Bull Hospitality tent and got ripped on Red bull and Grey Goose! Got pictures of race cars, drivers, Richard Petty, and The GooGoo Dolls. Had an x rated ride back to the hotel…was an awesome weekend!


August

New Orleans, LA
There was no business on this trip! It was all fun! We stayed in the French Quarter in a haunted shotgun house that was owned by the hotel. We did all the touristy things and then some. I skinny dipped in the hotel pool! I got great quality time with my sweetie. It was romantic and relaxing!

State Fair
Took Blake to see ZZTop for his birthday!
Cool Mom moment! We were in the SRO area and worked our way all the way up to the stage!

Des Moines, IA
Was business for him. I love to take a road trip with him! We stayed in a crappy hotel and still enjoyed each other!


September

St. Louis, MO
I am sure I took the kids to 6 flags.
Sweetie and I went to a ball game!


October

Las Vegas, NV
Sweetie was going for business, me for fun! We met Albert Pujols and sat behind him all the way to Las Vegas! I am still in shock! We took a helicopter ride into the Grand Canyon. We did the Skywalk and I dangled my feet over the side at 4,000 feet!


November

St. Louis, MO
We spent 4 days holed up in a room. I was so sick and time with him healed me right up! I am one lucky woman!
The next time we went we went to a St. Louis Blues vs. Chicago Blackhawks game! My first hockey game! Blues won it in a shootout!


December

Divorce was finalized on the 1st WooHOO! It only took 3 years to complete!

St. Louis, MO
We celebrated his birthday! We got all dolled up and went to dinner at a 5 star, 5 diamond restaurant! We looked adorable and had a great time!


Ok, so there it all is…
Love me?
Hate me?
I don’t really care…
I had a kick ass year!
Lookout 2009!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

3 years and counting...

It has been 3 long years since the day I threw him out! The divorce is almost final. I imagined that at this point, I wouldn't care about any of it anymore. I was wrong. This has stirred up more emotion in me than I ever thought that it would. Isn't the hurt supposed to be less after all these years?

I have discovered that I am still pissed! Really pissed. I guess I am over the abuse and the constant bullshit. What I am not over is that he did not support his children financially for over 2 and a half years and has really given them no emotional support at all over the last 3 years. I am pissed that he has never been held responsible for anything, ever. I am pissed that it is going to be my job for the rest of my life to be the enforcer. I am going to have to be one step ahead of him forever. It just sucks. I made a horrible choice for a mate and now I am paying for it. More importantly, I made a horrible choice for a mate and my kids are paying for it.

I hate to settle. I am being encouraged to settle and be agreeable by my lawyer. Pshawwhh...I hate it! I have been bullied for years, this is my chance to get even! I have to step back and see the big picture. I have already gotten even, I have gone beyond even. My life is pretty spectacular. My husband withheld all support from me and the kids hoping that I would come back. I didn't come back! I live a life that he could never provide me with. I am happy.

So, if I am so happy... why has going to court turned me into a sniveling little baby? All of the sudden I am insecure, needy, whiny, panicky, and an overall nervous wreck! I am writing shitty poetry about how alone I am! I have the best boyfriend in the world... how dare I doubt his love for me! All of this seems to have brought out my old emotions and my old self. I am craving a cigarette and a Hardee's cheeseburger followed by huge amounts of booze. I guess I just want to know if divorce has affected everyone this way? I threw his ass out and have never regretted it for one second, why am I such a wreck?

I really feel much better than I did on Sunday night. I had court on Monday and it went well. I have spent most of today gathering papers for the lawyer, emailing her secretary, and on the phone with my lawyer. I feel drained, I just want Monday to get here and be over...

Did I mention that I would like to skip Thanksgiving too?
Yeah, I do, but that is another blog in itself!